Cinta dalam hati

I remember what you wore on our first day,you came into my life and I thought, hurm, this could be something.

Sounds familiar ain’t it?Tapi ini memang betul-betul masih segar dalam ingatan saya.It’s been what?5 years?6years?i still remember the color of your shirt, and your hair style that fateful day.Maybe it was destiny that I met you at my favorite place, the bowling alley.I still remember how excited you are ,when your ball manage not to fall into the gutter.

I smile and been dragged into cloud nine.Can you imagined it? I’m in the middle of my coaching session those yayasan pahang young bowler and suddenly I can’t even pay attention on what am I doing.My friend pa was there and he witnessed everything.At first, I mistaken you for somebody from my college.

Never been in my life, I noticed someone who is so beautiful that makes my heart skips a beat.I’m been jinxed, nope, I’m been confounded, no, mesmerize, that’s it, mesmerize that’s the word.

Kadang-kala saya merasa sangat pelik dan juga ragu kenapa saya boleh ingat setiap benda kecil pasal awak.Every little thing that you said, somehow, terpahat di dalam hati saya.

Fate,takdir, you named it, awak menghampiri seseorang yang saya kenal.And it turns out that you’re related.We have been introduced at that moment.Try to be as normal as I can be, ( which I managed to do it badly) when I around you.Maybe it’s your aura or something like it.We get to know each other for the years to come and we got pretty close.

Saya masih ingat awak text saya beritahu that we can’t hangout anymore since you have been accepted into boarding school.I smiled when I read those, and I replied we can always hangout bila cuti sekolah.And futhermore, we are not that far actually from each other.Sepelaung je kata-kata orang-orang tua.

Then I went to ibu kota to finished my diploma.I remembered how you used to text me, even when you are in the middle of the class.Kinda of naughty back then.Its already 9 o clock in the morning, and you still texting me.

After awhile, you changed.And I don’t know why, I kept trying to contact you,but to no avail.Maybe you are bored,maybe you had enough, or maybe, just maybe you have found someone else.

A few months later, I went back to our hometown and I met someone.The distance between us is stretch even further.1 day I helped to bought you a ticket, then I found out that you have some kind of blood sickness.I was worried, but there’s nothing that I can do to help.

Then your birthday came, and I bought you something.I brought it to give to you personally,  but then you refuse to meet me.You said to left the present near the guard post and you will come by to pick it up later.I was a little upset, but its your birthday, so your wished is my command.

Months of silent, and we’re busy with our own life at that time.Until the day, you want to flew away.That night, I want to meet you and wished you goodbye, but someone made me promise, not to see you to night.So I just dropped by your house and send my regards to your relatives.I’m good at keeping my promises, I’m sorry.You text me later, asking why I didn’t meet you, and you said that you will missed me.Yeah, I’m gonna missed you too.

When you’re abroad, we still communicate with each other.I still remembered all those video call and chatting.Somehow, I felt like you are closer to me when you are abroad then when you are here physically.Those conversations, I still remembered till this day.Somebody was mistaken between you and an actress.I don’t blame them, you both look alike, but maybe, just maybe, you are more beautiful than she is. :-D

Then you came back.You gained weight and mind you, you are more beautiful than ever.Hope I can said it out aloud but as always I’m nervous when I’m around you.i saw you crying, not sad cry,but a happy cry at your homecoming party.We hanged out until dawn.

I was on my home when you gave me a present.I never though that I can land my hand on those out of stock items.And futhermore,you said that you can’t find it.Thanks.I really love it, and until today, I still have it in my possessions.

A few weeks later, we are together,happily like before until ‘it’ happened.And you’re never the same.I know, I should understand your situation just like you want me to, but maybe sometimes, things that happens to you makes me angry and frustrated.You want me to respect you decision.

And because I don’t want you to get hurt, scolded or other horrible things happened to you, I do it.And I do it because of you.And we kept to ourselves about the situation.I’m sorry if I make you feel horrible and sad about those messages.I’m sorry.And you are out of my life for a moment.

Until one day, I made a call, partly maybe because I missed you.We talk for a while, and I though I begin to knock some senses into you.I was wrong, I didn’t change anything.And you are out, again.

Last semester break, I was trying to avoid you.But somebody close to both of us said, if you love someone be sincere.I try to do it.I admit defeat, at that time, if you called it defeat, bahasa malaysia dia mengalah,haa senang.But then , after I thought everything was ok, I was wrong, again.And I made up my mind, I don’t want to give a damn about you anymore.

But here we are, again.

I hear your voice, I see your face, I missed your eyes, and I love your smiles.And i don’t know how should I react right now.If I get to close to you, I might fall back, back to where I was again.And when you decide to walk out again, what should I do?

I’m sorry i didn’t pickup your call last raya, I was in a dipshit at that time.

Now what should I do?If you asked me, I should love you enough to watch you walk out again.

You missed the scent,but I missed everything.

You are so easy to love but I guess that love wasn’t enough.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9w3SSIMIPBg

Mungkin ini memang jalan takdirku
Mengagumi tanpa dicintai
Tak mengapa bagiku asal kau pun bahagia
Dengan hidupmu, dalam hidupmu

Telah lama ku pendam perasaan itu
Menunggu hatimu menyambut diriku
Tak mengapa bagiku cintaimu pun adalah
Bahagia untukku, bahagia untukku

[Reff:]
Ku ingin kau tahu diriku di sini menanti dirimu
Meski ku tunggu hingga hujung waktuku
Dan berharap rasa ini kan abadi untuk selamanya
Dan izinkan aku memeluk dirimu kali ini saja
Tuk ucapkan selamat tinggal untuk selamanya
Dan biarkan rasa ini bahagia untuk sekejap saja

P.s bagi komen untuk sinopsis novel dekat atas :laugh: and please ignore those stupid grammar mistakes.